DATING IN ISLAM

we shall look at the following subtopics.

Regarding the issue of dating in Islam, one must first define what is meant by "dating." If it is understood to mean how a man and a woman get to know each other for the purpose of marriage, then there are certain guidelines and established procedures which can be discussed.

However, if it is understood to refer to casual relationships between men and women who for the purpose of "fun" or "going out" and the such, then there is no provision for this in Islam. Such a situation is not considered respectful for neither the man nor the woman, nor is it constructive for the concept or the building of the family or society or social responsibility.

Opening the door to relationships of love and infatuation and passion and pre-marital sex is categorically prohibited in Islam. It does not lead to the establishment of a family nor to proper and virtuous upbringing of children nor to stability and mutual care and tranquility and peace of mind between a man and woman. Rather, it leads to disorder, the disgracing of one's honor and dignity, and to a lifestyle similar to that of animals, and to that of illegitimate children who are subjected to life of vagrancy and loss.

 

What should be done in the state of preparing to get married

As for the former case, regarding how a man and a woman come to know each other for the purpose of marriage, it varies from circumstance to circumstance. Normally if a man has the desire to marry and has the ability to accept the responsibility, and he does not have anyone in mind, he will ask his friends, family, and relatives if there is a lady that may be suitable for him and his expectations among their acquaintances and relatives.

If someone is suggested, he normally asks about her extensively, about her religious observance, her personality, her knowledge, strengths, weaknesses, suitability as a wife willing to accept all the relevant responsibities, etc. If preliminary information seems appealing, then normally she is told that there is someone interested in meeting her and she is likewise given relevant information about him.

At this point, assuming the man and the woman as well as both families involved agree that there is potential, then the man usually visits the woman's family, often accompanied by members of his own. They are given the opportunity to see each other and sit and talk together, to converse modestly (but not in complete solitude) regarding whatever is relevant to making an informed judgment. The intention for this meeting should be for them to be able to make a decision whether or not they feel are mutually suitable. Afterwards, they each evaluate their own and their families' reactions, and pray to Allah that He guides them to what is in their best interest, and to make them accept the outcome. When both sides feel comfortable and feel they know everything they need to, based on all that has been mentioned such as asking about the other person, knowing their family, meeting in person, etc., they can make a final decision whether to carry on with marriage or not

Islam forbids all forms of ‘dating’ and isolating oneself with a member of the opposite sex, as well indiscriminate mingling and mixing. Correspondence between sexes leads to fitnah. If, however, one does none of the above, and all that he or she wants is to seriously consider marrying someone, such a thing itself is not considered haram. In fact, Islam encourages us to marry persons for whom we have special feelings and affinity. Thus, Islam recommends that potential marriage partners see one another before proposing marriage. Which in no sense means that we are allowed to “date”.

Islam does not allow the illicit relationship between a man and a woman. Allah has established the bond of marriage between a man and a woman so that both of them enjoy each other’s company in a legitimate way and bot may attain Allah’s mercy and blessing. There is no blessing in an illicit affair.

 

TYPES OF DATING

CASUAL DATING is when a person dates many people. Casual dating is done by people who are not interest in settling down with one person,by people who are searching the right partner to settle down with and by people who are just looking for sexual relationships.

 

DOUBLE DATING involves couples going out together. Double dating is popular among teenagers,adult couples who have similar interests and for people on dates. Double dates give them  the chance to see how your date is interacts with other people.

 

BLIND DATIING

IS Where two people who do not know each other are set up by someone else to go on a date. Blind dates are usually set up by friends,family co-workers-you up on a blind date or it could come as a surprise. Don't hesitate to let others know what you're looking for. That way,your blind date isn't so blind

SPEED DATING,TALKING ABOUT SPEED DATING

Is generally set up by an organization or dating service people arrive at a designated location and quickly spend. One-on-One time with other dating candidates. Time spent with each dating candidate varies from 5 to10 minutes. Speed dating allows people to meet a lot of dating candidates in one setting to see if one or more of them are suitable matches.

 

ONLINE DATING

IS Where people get To know each over the internet instead of in person meeting Online dating is convenient for a lot of people,especially Those who are constantly on the go

 

LOVE AND IT THINGS

Love is when he loves you for the sake of Allah.

Love is when he knows he loves you but he doesn’t want to displease Allah so he goes to your wali.

 

Love is when he marries you for the sake of Allah because he wants to complete half of his deen.

 

Love is when he tries to be the best husband for the sake of Allah.

 

Love is when he ensures his wife is on the right track for the sake of Allah.

 

Love is when he leads the prayer.

 

Love is when he wakes his wife up and pray tahajjud together.

 

Love is when he tries to be the best father, ensuring his children are successful not only in the dunya, but in the akhirah.

 

Love is when he tries to be the best in husband, father, son in law and brother in law for the sake of Allah. Same goes to the opposite gender

When She Loves For Real

 

 

When a girl loves, she loves for real. When she loves you, she becomes happy, she becomes proud of you and she feels happy when talking to you. She will be friend with your friends and relatives, your likes will be her likes, she will change her life style to fit in yours. No matter how much you disappoint her, she will forgive you before you apologize, yes she loves you. She will try to be a little bit jealous and protective, because she wants you to be hers and only hers. Her boyfriend will now become her EX because all her future will be in your hands. She will reject all proposals from other boys. No matter how far or near you are, she will protect herself for you. She will like everything you post on Facebook no matter how stupid it is. Retweet everything you tweet on twitter and will instantly reply to all your messages on WhatsApp or Facebook. She won't mind, whether you give her money or not, whether you are rich or not, because her interest in you is your future not what you are now.

She will show you all her friends and relatives, because she's proud of you! Look at that girl, her heart is made of Gold, so precious and full of love. She deserves to be treated as queen. But this bastard (some guys) after making her love you wholeheartedly, after making her waste her time on you, after making her reject other guys who would have been useful to her, and after all, having let her show you to everyone she knows that you are the ONE, now you're leaving her, leaving her broken hearted, guys whom she rejected because of you are going to laugh at her, her friends and relatives will ask, WHERE IS HE WHOM YOU TOLD US?

 

All she could do is to sit put her head on her knees, cry as if there is no tomorrow. Cry endlessly because she loved you endlessly.

Guys, don't make that girl regret why she loved you. Don't make others laugh at her. Fulfill your promises to her, if she wronged you, give her a second chance, everyone deserves a second chance. Know that she is just a human, she can't be perfect all the time.

COURTING

Now lets look at our today's courting

 

Islam doesn't support courting but nowadays we have introduced it in our society

 

 

Let's look at courting

During courtship, every man and woman reveals their true character, they consciously or unconsciously show you what your married life will be through their behaviour. Unfortunately some of us fail to notice this exposure, even when we notice, we ignore the warning signs hoping that we can manage or it will get better with time, hoping the person will change for good after marriage.

People pretend and put up fronts in relationships generally and during courtships in particular, but every now and then the real person behind the mask is exposed and you can see them for who they are. Do not ignore today anything you think might be a problem tomorrow, whatever you don't like now you will not like in a thousand years. If he or she is abusive now, they will be abusive always, it may take a while for that to happen, when you have annoyed them as you will most definitely do, they will revert to the old habit and may resort to physical abuse. If the man is a womanizer or the woman is a serial cheat, if he is an alcoholic, night crawler etc, these habits die hard, it takes the special grace of God for a total turn around if any. Except the person becomes truly born again you may have to live with these vices and all it's consequences for the rest of your life. Do not chase anyone who is unwilling to settle, you will keep chasing them once you make them get used to being chased. Do not let anyone manipulate you into thinking that something is wrong with you or you are not good enough, if aren't good enough, he/she won't be with you or propose to marry you. Some people have to intimidate you to create a false illusion of their own inadequate personality. Resist this, be confident in your own skin, it makes you look more attractive.

It is possible to get someone to marry you out of pity, this happens when you have tried too hard and the persons though indifferent decides to marry you out of pity, this may not hold for a long time because pity is a temporary emotion which fades away once the action for which you were pitied gets resolved. His or her heart is not with you and may never be, this is a recipe for disaster.

 

ADVICES/RELATED MATTERS

You often hear guys who are just dating and not married yet saying things like "If you really love me then sleep with me. Prove your love for me by sleeping with me".

 

Me: tell me which lady did your dad slept with before proving His love for her. Yet his love is the greatest. It shows sex is not love and love is not sex. You can love someone and not sleep with him or her. You can also sleep with someone and not love them. If sex is love then no one has more love than a prostitute. Don't let any irresponsible guy deceive you!If he's not responsible and matured enough to marry you, then he is also not matured enough for sex.

Simple kraaa

Single Ladies .......

 

Make sure you are healed BEFORE a GOOD MAN finds you because, if you are still broken from your former relationship you will be broken with a new one.

 

A good man can lead, counsel and hold you, but he cannot mend a heart that isn't prepared to stop looking at the old wounds.

 

Allow Allah to heal you

 

SingleGuys ...

 

It doesn't matter if you spoil that lady wth money and enrich her the with goodies of life , if she tells you she doesn't love you. It will not last. She may take from you and give to were her heart is. If she does not love you, let her go.

A real man stands by his woman at all times, keeps a smile on her face, not tears and doesn't only say I love you...He proves it.

[12/25/2017, 11:10] Sumailah Yussif: Singles and married...

 

A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets and no lies.

My guy, She is NOT supposed to provide for you. That is your responsibility as a man. She’s not your ATM, neither is she your bank. If you need money, go and work for it. Get a job. If that is not enough, get another job. Don’t let her money be the reason why you are with her. If she wants to give you her money, let that be HER own decision, not yours.

Any lady/Sister with too much pride will keep counting men. And it likely to end you up been a failure.

 

 Naturally heart broken

YOU UPLOAD A NAKED PICTURE ON FACEBOOK THINKING THAT IS THE BEST WAYS TO ATTRACT GUYS, FORGETTING YOU ONLY GET FACEBOOK FRIENDS WHILES YOUR PRIDE REDUCE, DONT GAIN FAME ON SOCIAL NETWORK TODAY AND LATER END UP BEEN A CHEAP PRODUCT TOMORROW

My Dear lovely sisters

 

If you're lucky enough to be in a relationship with a guy who  loves you alot and question u abt ur prayers and imaan, a guy that has nothing but always make sure u get something or make u hapi.A guy that is always disturbing you with calls and Sms day in and day out...

Please  dear sisters appreciate him because guys of nowadays only care about money and worldly things,they only want to be seen in different brand of dress ,fuck different girls and get iphone and cars  and leave a flashy life forgetting abt their Creator...Just because he doesn't have money now doesn't mean everything won't be well for him..You want to dump him for another ready made guy ,a nigga with an iPhone and a car without minding if that guy with iPhone and car  has a girlfriend or not .My dear don't do what you will regret later

Good guys are rare..

Appreciate him and make dua for him

Appreciate his effort and hustle

Fake Love all over

Make dua for him

Be loyal and honest with him

FIRST LOVE

He is/was my firs love and so what ? 😏

Sometimes ladies telling how their boyfriends is maltreating them but they can't leave them because the guys are their first love and they really love them. My sister, come here, let's talk. You yourself do you see that as love or stupidity? Or do you think you can never see a better man? For crying out loud, you deserve the best. Agreed, it is difficult to leave your first love but don't you think you need someone that will be treating you like a queen and not someone that will be treating you like a slave or a trash when he knows you have no where to go because he is your first love. Oh wait, he deflowered(disvirgin) you? So what. The deed has been done, move on with your life. Not being a virgin doesn't determine who you are.

You are still beautiful and adorable. A lot of guys that are ready to treat you like a queen are out there waiting for you.

ANY TIME YOU GET DISAPPOINTED BY A WOMAN , PLEASE JUST SMILE OVER IT AND LET IT BE THE VERY REASON WHY YOU WILL LOVE THE LUCKY WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE MORE AND MAKE SURE THAT THE OTHER WOMAN WILL FOREVER BE JEALOUS WHEN SHE SEES YOU WITH YOUR NEW SOUL MATE.

ONE LADY'S DISAPPOINTMENT IS THE BEST REASON AND ENOUGH REASON TO LOVE ANOTHER LADY DEEPLY.. DONT HATE THEM

 

WHEN A WOMAN DATES A REAL MAN

Dating is not a business for girls and this is why when you advice girls not to depend on a boy, they get mad but the truth is, the only man a girl can depend on is her Dad. Until she grows up to have a “man” in her name as WOMAN. That is when she takes care of herself and knows what she wants and what she doesn't.

Any man she decides to study for marriage is just a friend, she doesn't depend on this friend for her needs, until the friend proves to her he wants to care for her; which means he loves her and wants to marry her. She then becomes a wife to such a man and depends on this man who is now her husband; for a wife depends on her husband. Unfortunately, in the ‘fast food’ world we are now has really provided short cuts to lots of things, making girls feel it is right to date, even when they know they are not ready for marriage. They get into a drama and called it a relationship not knowing the problem is them.

It is also sad to know many ladies have fathers not daddies, fathers who just donate sperm and disappear; who didn't nurture these ladies, so many leave home looking for a daddy in a boyfriend.

Whilst others are lost in the deadly competition this world offers. Despite all that their daddies are providing for them, it is not enough for them. They want to be beautiful like others, wear what they wear, eat what they eat, visit the places they visit, and this is pushing them into relationships to meet these expenses.

In this life, you don't need to be beautiful like others, what you need is to be beautiful like you by making the best out of the little you have.

A woman needs to know the different between a boy and a man. A man is mature and has no time for games, he is real and understands that the word "care" is what makes love complete. Which means, when he says he loves you, it means he cares about you because he has seen a wife in you and wants to make you his.

A real man who loves you is proud of you, and spends each day to prove his love for you. He texts you in the morning and in the night, makes time out of his busy schedules to speak to you, just to hear your voice. He makes time to see you even if it will last for only a short while.

He cherishes times spent with you, makes you laugh, holds hands with you in public, takes the silly and the cutes pictures with you. He celebrates you. He respects you and is honest with you. He doesn't lie to you and takes no delight in putting you up for competition or making you jealous. He doesn't flirt with other women, not to talk of cheating on you. You don't need to ask him for transport fare when you visit him; because he cares, he provides that for you, even when you say no. You don't have to remind him to remember you or make time to talk or chat with you. He spends on you because he has found a wife. You don't need to ask, for he wants to. He is committed to protecting you with the same passion he uses to guard his heart. He is able to let the ladies who are crazy about him know he has found a wife, and that is you.

 

 

 

Audit yourself: 

From time to time we should pause and assess the condition of our hearts. If we do that with full introspection, it wouldn’t be difficult to determine whether our hearts are filled with piety and fear of Allah (Taqwa), or have remnants of hardness and a carefree attitude about Allah and His teachings.

Allah says in the Quran: “O you who believe! Fear Allah and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has sent forth for the morrow (tomorrow), and fear Allah. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what you do” (Surah Al-Hashr:18).

 

 

Ibn kathir says that the phrase ‘let each soul see’ or “let every person look” in the above verse means to take an account of one’s own actions before being audited (by Almighty Allah)

(Tafseer of Ibn Kathir: 4/346).

 

 

Lesson

“Audit yourself in prosperity before the auditing of adversity. Whoever does this will be pleased and envied. Whoever is distracted from this by his life and fantasies, will face remorse and loss.”

Allah save us all 💕

 

Powerful Du'a #singles should memoriz

 

Allahumma inni a'udhu bika min hubbi bila zawaji. Wa a'udhu bika min zawaji bila hubb.

 

O Allah I seek refuge in you from love which doesn't lead to marriage. And I seek refuge in you from marriage with no love.

Dear # futurewife ,

In sha Allah I know you are beautiful, you are neither tall or short (in between), your smile can make me put my hand in my pocket and dash you # GH50 (even if it's the last money I have) the love that will exist between us is more than the one that existed between Romeo and Juliet.

 

You are a princess among princesses

 

A queen among queens

 

A woman among women and a wife among wives. You deserve me and I equally deserve you.

This letter is not. coming from anyone but your one and only # future husban

# LOVE

NB: Future wife's unknown 🤦🏻‍♂🤦🏻‍♂🤦🏻‍♂

Allahumma inni as 'alukal- ' afwa wal 'afiyata fid- dunya wal akhirat , allahumma inni as 'alukal- ' afwa wal 'afiyata fi dini wa dunyaya wa ahli wa mali . Allahum- mastur awrati, wa amin raw ati. Allahum mahfazni min bayni yadayya , wa min khalfi, wa 'an yamini , wa 'an shimali, wa min fawqi, wa a udhu bi ' azamatika an ughtala min tahti .

 

 

O Allah , I ask for Your pardon and good health in this world and the next . O Allah , I ask for Your pardon and soundness in my religion , my worldy affairs , my family and my wealth. O Allah , conceal my secrets and protect me from anguish. O Allah , guard me from what is before me , behind me , my left, my right and above me . I take refuge in Your greatness against being struck down from beneath me .

 

 Aameen.Asalaamu alaikum Wa rahmatulahi Wa baraqatuhu