Tarbiyah in Islam is very
important, for indeed all of the Deen is based upon tarbiyah (i.e. the
education and upbringing of the people). This starts first of all with the
education and training of our own selves, then of our families, and then of the
community at large. But this tarbiyah is most important with respect to our
children, so that they are brought up upon the correct path of Islam. Because
of this, many of the scholars take care in discussing this aspect of tarbiyah
more so than the others.
After the benefit of al-Islam
and our very creation, from the best of benefits is that of having children. We
see their benefits both in this world and after we have passed to the next. As
for the benefits in this world - when a person becomes old and unable to earn a
livelihood, all of his friends and companions leave him alone and it is his
children who look after and care for him, bearing his problems and burdens. As
for after his death, then a person benefits from his children as the Prophet
said: "When the son of Adam passes away, all of his deeds are stopped
except for three. Some kind of charity that is continuous, or knowledge which
the people are benefiting from, or a righteous child who is praying for
him."
Also from the benefits of
having children is that if they were to pass away whilst still children, they
will intercede for their parents. This is authentically reported from the
Prophet , who said:
"There is no Muslim individual, male or female, who
has three of his children pass away whilst they are young and he is patient
with that, except that they will come and intercede for him on the Day of
Judgment." So 'Umar asked, 'What about two [children]?' Upon this the
Prophet said, "It is the same for two [children]." (Al-Bazzaar,
al-Haakim. Sh. al-Albaanee mentions it in his book, Kitaabul-Janaa-iz)
As for the person who has one
child who passes away and he is patient with this, seeking his reward from
Allah , then he shall also find a great reward with Him. As in a hadeeth
wherein it is reported that the Prophet used to sit down in his sitting place
and his companions would sit in front of him to seek benefit and learn from
him.
From amongst them was a man
who had a small boy; he used to come to the Prophet from behind his back by way
of respect, then he used to sit in front of him and sit his son in front of the
Prophet . The Prophet asked, "Do you love this child of yours?" The
man replied, "Yes, and may Allah cause you to love him also." Then it
happened that this child passed away, and the man was so sad that he used to
refrain from coming to sit with the Prophet . So the Prophet asked his
companions about this man saying, "Why is it that he no longer comes to my
sitting place?" And this was from the Sunnah of the Prophet , that if he
had people who would come to him and then stop coming, he would ask about their
condition and their affairs.
So the companions told him
that the man's son had passed away and that he was sad because of that. So the
Prophet went to meet this man and asked him, "What has happened to your
son?" And the man told him that he had passed away.
So the Prophet said, "Do
you wish that your son could be here with you spending time with you, or do you
prefer that your son would reach Paradise before you, waiting at the Doors of
Paradise to open them for you?" So the man said, "O Messenger of
Allah. I wish that my son would go forth before me and precede me to
Paradise." So the Prophet said to him, "Verily, this is for
you."
So upon this, one of the
companions said, "O Messenger of Allah, may I be sacrificed for your sake!
Is this (reward) only for this man or is it for all of the people?" He
said, "No, this reward is for all of the people (i.e. those who lose a
child and are patient with their loss)." (Al-Haakim. Adh-Dhahabee declared
it Saheeh as did Sh. Al-Albaanee).
Also from the benefits of
having children is that if one has daughters and is patient with them, bringing
them up correctly, then for him is a great reward from Allah. Our mother
Aa'ishah said,
"A woman with two daughters and who was very poor came to my
door requesting charity. All I had was three dates, so I gave them to this
woman and her two daughters.
The woman gave a date to each
of her daughters and kept the third date for herself. But when the two
daughters had finished their dates, they both looked up to their mother wanting
the date which she had. So she felt mercy for her two daughters and split the
date into two halves, she gave a half to each of her daughters and then she
went away. When the Prophet came back I informed him about what had happened.
He said, 'Anyone who has daughters and is good in bringing them up, then they
will be as a barrier between him and the Hell-Fire'." (Bukhari &
Muslim)
It is obligatory for the
parents to take care of their children as the responsibility for them is upon
their shoulders. As the Prophet said, "All of you are shepherds and will
are responsible for his flock."
And will be responsibleUnfortunately, many of the
people look down upon this affair of bringing up the children correctly and
consider it as a small matter and unimportant, instead busying themselves which
affairs such as politics and those things which it may be beyond their ability
to reach. They look to those things which are seen as more important and so
look down upon the affair of raising their children correctly.
In this, they are mistaken,
as whoever the Imam or the leader of the believers may be, even if he was the
most righteous of all righteous people and the most just of all rulers, if a
person does not take care of their own affairs then no-one else is going to
come into their house and look after their children for them. And if this Imam
was the worst of all the people, yet a person was to take care of their own
family as is his responsibility, then how is his harm and his condition going
to affect that person? Allah says,
"Verily! Allah will
not change the good condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves." [Qur'an 13:11]
So it is upon us to change
our own condition and the condition of our own families, and then to look to
the condition of our communities and the community of the Muslims at large. For
if we were to neglect this responsibility then we would never achieve the
correct tarbiyah - training, upbringing and education - of our societies.
Indeed the Book of Allah
(Qur'an) and the Sunnah of the Prophet encourage us to bring up our children
correctly;ordering us with righteousness and good
conduct ourselves as well as ordering us to prevent our families from falling
into that which would result in their own destruction. As Allah says,
"O you who believe!
Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is
men and stones." [Qur'an Tahrim 66:6]
And He says,
"enjoin Prayer on your family, and be patient in offering them (i.e. the Prayers )."
[ Qur'an Ta-Ha 20:132]
The Prophet said, "Order
your children with Salah when they are seven years old, and beat them upon it
(i.e. force them to do so by hitting them) when they are ten years old, and
(also) separate them in their sleeping place.
So by the preceding Ayat and
hadeeth, Allah and the Prophet teach the believers about the importance of
Salah and worship, and also in the hadeeth the Prophet is teaching his Ummah
about how to live this life free from all types of doubts and misconceptions,
by avoiding those places and situations where such doubts and misconceptions
may arise. So the order is that one should raise one's children upon the most
blessed and praiseworthy of characteristics.
Brothers and sisters thank
you for your audience and time.
I would like to pause here
and continue another time on
Some examples of practical
ways in bringing up the family.
In shaa Allah.
Wosollallaahu alaa Nabiyyina
Muhammad wa alaa aalihi wa as-haabih wa taabiuun and the wamin tabi'ahum
bi-ihsaan ilaa yawmul deen.
No comments:
Post a Comment