Marriage is a very special and sacred bond created by Allah
subhana-wa-ta’ala between a man and a woman.
Marriage makes them permissible for one another and lives a life of beauty.
Allah azzawajal has described in glorious Quran this relationship in most
beautiful terms and has mentioned that this bond is filled with love, mercy,
compassion, security, and understanding.
“And among
His signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you
may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your
hearts: Verily in that are signs for those who reflect. (Quran 30:21)
Among different other considerations, the most crucial and important
consideration is the selection of the marriage partner.
Islam is one of the major proponents of the right of selection of
partner and wants its followers to start this new journey of their life with
the right partner.
Keeping this important aspect of society, today, I like to
put the mate selection in context of Islamic teachings:
“Do not
prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between themselves in
a lawful manner.” (2:232)
Freedom of Selection
The general misconception about Islam is that, it is a religion that
does not allow the partners to know and see each other before marriage, thus
the marriages that take place among Muslims are all arranged where the parents
of both the partners make the decision without the permission of the children
to be married.
This conception is wrong and Islam gives proper right to
both the partners pertaining to selection*.
In addition to the general provision of right of selection
as a marriage partner, people argue that Muslim women have less freedom in this
regard as compared to men, *this is also a misconception and Islam gives proper
right to women to show their consent with regards to their partner*.
Allah Almighty said about this in Quran in the following
way:
“Do not
prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between themselves in
a lawful manner.” (2:232)
This ayah of Quran clearly explains the freedom of selection
of a *life partner* that Allah Almighty has provided to women.
Moreover, from this ayah it also becomes clear that no one
is allowed to *force women* in not marrying the partner which they wish to
marry and similarly they cannot be *forced to marry someone which they do not
wish to marry.
Hence, the concept
that in Islam marriage of women is dependent upon the will of parents or male
members of the family is wrong and they have complete freedom in this regard
from Allah Almighty.
From this hadith of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) it is clear
that there is no compulsion on men for not seeing the women they are going to
marry.
However, the one thing that should be understood in the
light of this hadith is that for a man to see a woman, he or she must have the
willingness of getting married to the women he is about to see beforehand. Therefore, just seeing women without the willingness of
getting married is not allowed.
Like women, men also have the freedom of selecting a partner
for marriage. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said in this regard:
“When one of
you seeks a woman in marriage, and then if he is able to have a look at whom he
wishes to marry, let him do so.”*
(Dawood)
Therefore, seeking purity not a virgin should be the
primary objective when selecting a partner for marriage.
For both Muslim men and women it is imperative that they
find pure partners for marriage, so that the foundation for the relation could
be laid upon purity.
Besides the freedom for
the selection of a partner, the second tenant of getting married in Islam is
the selection criteria which has to be followed in marrying a person.
Islam is a religion of purity, spirituality and height of
character, therefore, there can be no doubt in this regard that the selection
criteria for a marriage partner is the character of the person above everything
else.
Allah Almighty says in Quran:Chapter 24 verse 26
Besides the freedom for the selection of a partner, the
second tenant of getting married in Islam is the selection criteria which has
to be followed in marrying a person.
Islam is a religion of purity, spirituality and height of
character, therefore, there can be no doubt in this regard that the selection
criteria for a marriage partner is the character of the person above everything
else.
Allah Almighty says in Quran:
Quote from the Holy Qur'an: An-Noor (24:26)
ٱلْخَبِيثَٰتُ لِلْخَبِيثِينَ وَٱلْخَبِيثُونَ لِلْخَبِيثَٰتِ ۖ
وَٱلطَّيِّبَٰتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَٱلطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَٰتِ ۚ أُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ مُبَرَّءُونَ
مِمَّا يَقُولُونَ ۖ لَهُم مَّغْفِرَةٌ وَرِزْقٌ كَرِيمٌ
Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women
impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for
women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is
forgiveness, and a provision honourable.
In another hadith, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:
“A woman may
be married for four reasons: for her property, for her rank, for her beauty,
and for her religion (and character), *so marry the one who is best in the
religion and character and prosper.”*
(Bukhari)
This haidth of Prophet (PBUH) makes it evident that above
everything the one thing that should be considered while getting married to
someone is his or her *character*.
The character or piety of a person is more important than
the property, than the rank and beauty. Although this haidth is directed
towards selection of women, however, if women were to select men, they could
also follow the same criteria and select men on the bases of their character
and not their wealth.
Being a virgin is a class and a pride but doesn’t guarantee a success marriage
nor Jannah!!!
To my beloved follow men, stop waiting for a pious and a
virgin woman while you’re not
either one of the criteria!!!
I directed you all to Quran chapter 24 this Suuratul Noor
verse 2-5!!!! See how Allah Azza Wajjal describes the category of who deserves
who!!!!
Love is a disease and
its only cure is to get married to the one you love!
The first thing Allah gave prophet adam alayhi wasallam was
knowledge and the second thing was marriage! How important!
The house of the prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam was not a
house of indomie and spaghetti, it was a house of ibadah, as well as a house
filled with love and ecstacy! The prophet was very romantic and sweet to his
wives! It was narrated that, every morning, the rasul salallahu alayhi wassalam
would greet all his wives from one room to another with tasleem! How many men
do these today?
The ummahatul mumineen radi Allahu anhunna reported that,
the prophet would NEVER pass by any of them around the house without doing
something lovely to that person (winking, kissing, hugging, poking, touching
her jilbab, smiling), and if he doesn't do any to one of them, it means the
prophet is angry with that person!
Subhanallah, he expresses anger with silence
I will have love to tackle these topics but I don't want to
disturb you with a lot of messages so I will end here. In case you need me to
present on these topics just pm 👌 ok
1.Sex Education
2. Love before marriage
3. How to be romantic to ones wife
May Allah grant us understanding and forgive our short
comings
Indeed none deserves any form of worship except Allah and the Prophet
Mohammed, SAW, is His Messenger and servant
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