NOT BEING SINCERE TO ONES PARTNER

Assalamualaikum Wa rahmatullah Wa barakatuhu

With the name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especial merciful

Praise be to Allah the exalted who has blessed us, his powerless servants, with the joy and peace of true faith; and may His peace and blessings be upon the Everlasting Pride of the Universe, Prophet  Muhammad (S.A.W) who has led humanity from darkness to boundless light.

May Allah grant our hearts a lofty fortune from the spiritual abode of the companions of Prophet Muhammad and the revered servants of Allah, who have guided believers to the right path and may He bless our hearts with fruitful winds from the wide horizons of their infinite spirituality. Question

 

I have been hurt very badly; I have not been married for long but my husband started speaking to a woman from the past a few months after our marriage. I did not get to know him very well before marriage because I chose to follow the rules of Islam and not get to know my partner. My husband had intention of marrying another woman so he got to know her for a while before our marriage and before we met; that woman has now got in contact with him and they have been having conversations via e-mail and by phone. I discovered proof and I lost my temper as I loved my husband very much but now he said to me that he had feelings for her and he wanted to marry her but before we got married I had asked him if he wished to marry again and he said no ver clearly and that he had no intention of going down that path. I feel like I've been cheated on and hurt. Now I cannot trust my husband and always think about how they must have interacted and how they must have made jokes and in their e-mail they talked about their past when they were talking which is haram (impermissible) unless you talk to a mehrem (close relative whom one cannot marry). He now promised he won’t get in contact with her and that he has ended it, but in my heart there is so much hurt and at times I cry and get depressed and feel like I am not enough for him. We have a child and at times I feel like I cannot live with him and that I don’t want to be with him because he has betrayed and used me and made me feel like we are ok when we were not. He always went to her to talk about his worries and emotions and not to me and I was pregnant atcthe time which makes me hurt even more. What is the punishment for a man when he does this to his pregnant wife? I want advice from you on how to take control of this situation in a halaal (lawful) way. I feel unhappy at times and like I’m stuck with someone who doesn’t love me or have feelings for me. Insha Allah we shall be talking more on the question asked above.

 

A-uudhu billaahi minash  shaitonir rajiim

Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem

Praise be to Allah

What the man is doing of having a haraam (an unlawful) relationship with a woman who is not his mahram is a betrayal of the rights of Allah before it is a betrayal of the rights of his wife. The Muslim is bound by a covenant with his Lord, may He be exalted, and what he is required to do is to fulfil that covenant and not break it. Moreover, this is not what the individual is enjoined to do in response to the blessings that his Lord has bestowed upon him. Allah, may He be glorified, has blessed him with good health, well-being and a wife and children, either now or soon, in sha Allah. The way to show gratitude for these blessings is not to waste this good health and well being in haraam relationships with non-mahram women, and the way to show gratitude for the blessing of the wife and children is not by neglecting them and breaking ties with them. Allah, may He be exalted, has promised to those who give thanks increased blessings and He warns those who are ungrateful for blessings of a severe punishment, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed: If you give thanks (by accepting Faith and worshipping none but Allah), I will give you more (of My Blessings), but if you are thankless (i.e. disbelievers), verily! My Punishment is indeed severe”

[Ibraaheem 14:7] .

👉What appears to be the case in your situation with your husband is that you have a place in his heart; were it not for that he would have hastened to end the marital relationship between you after he found out that you are aware of his haraam relationship with that woman. This is something that should be used to put pressure on him to give up this sin and end that haraam relationship. We think that you should treat him very kindly and do not fall short in treating him kindly; you should also adorn yourself for him, wear your best clothes and create a pleasant atmosphere for him in the house, because he may be missing that altogether or in part. You should also advise him and admonish him, and warn him against continuing to commit haraam actions. You should explain to him what his punishment will be with Allah in the Hereafter, or in the Hereafter and this world; indeed you should warn him that Allah may punish him for such sin with regard to his family, as he may be tested with marriage to a woman, or with having a daughter, who does with men what he is doing with women, what will his reaction be in that case?

 

We advise you not to let many people know about what your husband is doing,because the basic principle is to conceal sins that are unknown. What we want is that which will help mend his ways, not that which may be taken as a means to continue

👉Fill his time with useful and beneficial things, and do not leave him time when he is alone with his shaitan! His daily schedule should be full, either with acts of worship such as upholding ties of kinship or attending Islamic study circles, or he should be busy with worldly matters that are beneficial and permissible, such as exercise.

 

Offer a lot of du‘aa (supplication) for him to be guided and set straight, for the best weapon of the believer is du‘aa’. Strive hard to offer du‘aa’ in the last third of the night and when prostrating.

Finally, if what is mentioned above does not succeed in putting a stop to that haraam relationship of his with that woman, then you have two options:

You can advise him to marry her in accordance with the laws of Allah, may He be exalted, so as to save him and her from this haraam relationship, on condition that his relationship with her has not reached the level of zina (adultery) Allah forbid because it is not permissible to advise someone to do something that is haraam, as their getting married will not be permissible until after they repent (from zina).

Or you can ask for a divorce (talaaq), but start by threatening to ask for it, then if he remains as he is you have the right to seek a way out of the calamity you are faced with by asking for a divorce. The final resort in medical treatment is cautery, as it is said, and despite the pain of this cautery (divorce), it will give you a way out from the distress and anger you are feeling, and it will protectvyou and your children from the possibility of fitnah (tribulation) because of your husband’s misbehaviour and his haraam relationship, whether that protection has to do with your religious commitment, honour or health.

This is what we can give you by way of advice.

May Allah guide your husband and set his affairs straight; we ask Allah to reconcile between you when he is adhering to righteousness and obedience towards Allah. Ameen

Now let's us look something small about jealousy

Jealousy or envy is a negative trait in human beings. A jealous person always envies others who are happy and comfortable. When he finds something good and attractive with others, he wishes that they lost the thing. Generally such a jealous person is neither capable of snatching away the good thing from the other person nor harm him in any way. Is about patient, and be grateful to your Rubb

The Prophet of Islam has said:

 “A jealous person is the unhappiest of his compatriots."

Some people always throw stones in your path. It depends on what you make with them; a Wall or a Bridge? - Remember you are the architect of your life. It’s not important to hold all the good cards in life, but it’s important how well you play with the cards you hold. Be grateful and show appreciation to Almighty Allah for what you have. Thus part of eeman. Often when we lose all hope & think this is the end, remember Allah and pray, it’s just a bend, not the end.

Have faith and have a successful life. One of the basic differences between Allah and humans is, Allah gives and forgives. But the human gets and forgets. Be thankful in life... Life is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship. It's not how we care in the beginning, but how much we care till the very end. May Allah grant the singles the pious and faithful spouses and may He grant more Baraka to the married ones. Aameen

Single Guy,

Don't deceive a lady to be in a relationship with you. Telling her the truth about you will save you a lot of problems in future. Be yourself, and the one who loves you will love you for who you are.

SINGLE MOTHERS,

Don't believe anyone that tells you NO ONE would want to marry you. Never let anyone devalue your worth. There is someone special that will be willing to love you and your children as a PACKAGE. You just hold on to God's Word. He is on the way. Singles ,

It's perfect to be a virgin or keep your body before marriage. But that alone is not going to guarantee you success in your marriage. You must let God's love develop you on character building and have the right attitude. Some still single in our society not because there are no good brethren, but some because of their tongue (unseasoned speech) and manners.

OBSERVATIONS MADE

Some single guys think of ladies as books. If the cover doesn't really catch their eyes, they won't even bother to read what's inside the book. But they forget that most great books doesn't come with great covers, but had great content.

Let what's inside a lady captivate you and not necessarily what is on her waist. Let godly virtue in her be your decider and not just looks. Look may fade with time, but her character is what stays with her and bring her inner glow for marriage and life.

If you let her know how much you love her, and how important she is in your life, and show her how much you care, you will be amazed at how your partner will love you and how lot of problems will disappear just from your relationship. Dear man,

Don't awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her, caring for her, committing to her and marrying her.

Some ladies follow words when falling in love. A Guy can't offer you anything apart of marriage. If you love a Guy doesn't mean he'll marry you

Have seen soo many in love but at the end they're no more. Some turn to the worst enemies. No matter what a Guy tells you.

Don't give out your love to him

Unless he marries you. Singles,

Don't force yourself to be in a relationship with someone who sees you as a substitute. They come to you not because they love you, but because they haven't gotten the person they want yet. Be in a relationship with a person who wants to stand next to you because they cannot imagine to stand next to anyone else. Insha Allah I shall stop here and continue another time.

May Allah grant us understanding and forgive our short comings. Asalaamu alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuhu.