Asalamu alaikum
We thank Allah for yet
another day and as usual I am humbled to share with you words of wisdom from
our religion.
This I believe will be of
benefit to me and to to you
Indeed, there is non who
deserves any form of worship except Allah and our prophet Mohammed is the
messenger and slave of Allah. There is
no blind fellowship except following the instructions of the prophet of Islam
Allah says👇
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ
مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً
وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
"And one of His signs is
that He has created for you, spouses from amongst yourselves so that you might
take comfort in them and He has placed between you, love and mercy. In this
there is surely evidence (of the truth) for the people who carefully
think."
(Surah 30, Verse 21)
Indeed brothers and sisters
in Islam the most dangerous of people are those who enjoy bachelorhood
Choosing a spouse is the most
difficult decision every Muslim can imagine. The politics of it goes way beyond
just you and the lady/man you send home
Those who have really had to
decide on going to ask a ladies hand in marriage will attest to the fact that
at some point you get convinced you are making the right decision and then the
next minute you start doubting whether you are making the right decision or not
Your parents have their own
interest as to what kind of a person you bring home
They ask Questions like 👇;
1. Is she/he a Muslim
2. Is she beautiful
2. What tribe does she/he
belong to . etc
3. Is he wealthy
You can't over look the
family's influence in the spouse selection process. This is because their
approval is what actually gives the green light
Every Muslim needs to take
keen interest in the qualities a good spouse should posses and again take into
consideration the family-influence in this decision making
To begin with Allah has instructed
us to marry the believing women (men). When Allah's 👇🏿
وَلَا تَنكِحُوا۟ ٱلْمُشْرِكَٰتِ
حَتَّىٰ يُؤْمِنَّۚ وَلَأَمَةٌ مُّؤْمِنَةٌ خَيْرٌ مِّن مُّشْرِكَةٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَتْكُمْۗ
وَلَا تُنكِحُوا۟ ٱلْمُشْرِكِينَ حَتَّىٰ يُؤْمِنُوا۟ۚ وَلَعَبْدٌ مُّؤْمِنٌ خَيْرٌ
مِّن مُّشْرِكٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكُمْۗ أُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى ٱلنَّارِۖ وَٱللَّهُ
يَدْعُوٓا۟ إِلَى ٱلْجَنَّةِ وَٱلْمَغْفِرَةِ بِإِذْنِهِۦۖ وَيُبَيِّنُ ءَايَٰتِهِۦ
لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَتَذَكَّرُونَ
And do not marry polytheistic
women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a
polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men
[to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a
polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire,
but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He
makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember. Al-Baqarah 2:221
Again the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged marrying women who are religiously
committed, as he said 👇:
“Women may be married for four things: their wealth,
their lineage, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who
is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you
prosper).”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466
Let's be realistic about the
believing woman or man issue
Looking for a believing
woman/man doesn't mean you are looking for someone who is sinless. The believing
women is the person who is trying to be a better Muslim
She/he could be a believer
but has a little struggle in perfecting his or her iman
Again, in looking for a
believer you can't overlook some very important things like how he/she smells
or look. You need someone you can connect with, play with and argue with. Pick
someone you can tolerate her short comings, her body odour, her attitude
towards work, etc
If your believing woman or
man smells in away you don't like, talks in a manner that irritates you or has
a behaviour you can't cope with then please be careful. These things will see
your marriage life a hell. This is very important because today most marriages
are facing those problems.
Most often than not when we
attempt to look for a believing woman/man we forget to consider the fact that
we need a polite, respectful and understanding partner
Oh brothers and sisters in
Islam, In addition , don't be selfish in your decision making. You would have
to take into consideration whether your kids will appreciate the mother that
you give them. Don't pick any prostitute and say " the most important
thing is that you like her ".
Ask yourself if she would be
a good mother for your children. Can she give you children a good upbringing
etc.
Your spouse will not only be
your wife but an in-law to your parents. She or he actually married your family
too. Be careful in choosing someone your family has a tangible reason to
dislike. They will end up frustrating her and making your marriage life a
misery
Finally, there are a lot of
good ladies and men out there so don't waste your time or compromise yourself
for someone because the families don't approve of the two of you being together
when they have a genuine concern or even if they don't have a tangible reason to.
Never try to get yourself
pregnant to force their hands to allow you marry.
May Allah increase us in
patience and protect our imam. Asalamu alaikum
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