Search This Blog

FIQH/ETIQUETTE OF MARRIAGE ( LOVE MAKING)




FIQH/ETIQUETTE OF MARRIAGE ( LOVE MAKING)

 

 In the ideal Islamic situation, the husband and wife will most probably be total strangers to each other, having no kind of personal contact with each other previously due to the strict laws of hijab and pardah in the Shariah. Coupled with this feeling of strangeness are the natural constraints of haya and modesty, that form an integral part of Imaan. Under the particular circumstances it is quite natural that both the husband and wife will be extremely bashful of each other and under considerable strain and anxiety.

          

In order to break the ice, they firstly greet each other with the traditional Islamic greetings of salaam. Thereafter the husband should gently place his right hand on his brides forehead and recite:

                                          

Allahumma inni asaluka min khairihawakhairi ma fihawakhairi ma jabaltaha alai wa audhubika min sharrihawasharri ma fihawasharri ma jabaltaha alai

(Recommend to read from Arabic script for correct pronunciation)

 

Translation:-O Allah! I ask you of her goodness, the good within her and the goodness upon which she was created. I seek Your protection from her evil, the evil within her and the evil upon which she was created.

(Bukhari, Abu Dawud, IbnMaja, Al Hakim, Al Baihaqi and Abu Yala)

 

Thereafter, wudhu and two rakats of salatul-Hajahmaybe offered as a token of gratitude and thereby requesting assistance from Allah (Rabbul-Izzat) for a successful and blessed marraige, pious offspring, etc.

                                          

Then they should engage themselves in some religious talk showing importance to the obedience of Allahs commands and , through wisdom and tact, become more free and open in the discussion, trying to discover each others temperament. As sexual inclinations vary with every individual, the bride and the bridegroom will have to display patience with each other. Sexual union on the first night of marriage is not the most important thing between the couple. Their first intimate association gives them an opportunity to know each other more closely, to assess each others feelings and attitudes. With some brides excitement, expectations or fear of intimate union brings about a reluctance in performing sexual union.

🖊📖One more point of caution to the husband is never to harbour unnecessary suspicions against the wife if for some reason it appeared that she was not a virgin. This is a sin. It is forbidden to harbour ill-thoughts about the next Muslim merely on the basis of such conjectures. And worse still is to make her a target of abuse and oppression on this ground. This is Zulm (oppression) and a major sin. There are many reasons a girl could lose her hymen, the tissue of virginity reasons that could be substantiated medically such as heavy flows during menstruation, illness, falling, jumping excessively, horse-riding, certain sporting activities, ageing, etc.

 

🌺 The praying of husband and wife together

 

The praying of husband and wife together

                                           

🌺 It is desirable for the husband and wife to pray 2 rakaat together on their wedding night. This has been narrated from the earliest generation of Muslims, as in the following 2 narrations:

First: On the authority of Abu SaeedMawla Abu Asyad who said: I got married while I was a slave. I invited a number of the companions of the Prophet, among them was Ibn Masood, Abu Dharr and Hudhaifa. When the prayer was called, Abu Dharr began to step forward when the others said to him: No! He said: Is it so? And they said: Yes. Then, I stepped forward and led the prayer though I was a slave possessed. They taught me, saying: When your wife comes to you, pray 2 rakaat. Then, ask Allaah for the good of that which has come to you, and seek refuge in Him from its evil. Then it is up to you and it is up to your wife.’” [IbnAbiShaibah and Abdur-Razzaaq]

 

On the authority of Shaqeeq who said: A man named Abu Hareez came and said: I have married a young girl, and I am afraid that she will despise me.’‘Abdullah ibn Masood said to him: Verily, closeness is from Allaah, and hatred is from Shaitaan, who wishes to make despicable that which Allaah has allowed. So, when your wife comes to you, tell her to pray behind you 2 rakaat.’” In another version of the same story, “‘Abdullah went on to say: And say: O Allah give Your blessings on me in my wife, and to her in me. O Allaah join us together as long as You join us in good, and split us apart if You send to us that which is better.’” [IbnAbiShaibah and at-Tabaraani and Abdur-Razzaaq: Saheeh].

 

Dua to recite for both before making Love/Sex (everytime* )

👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼                                                    

Bismillahi, Allahummajannibnaa ash-shaitaan, wajannib ash-shaitaanmaarazaqtanna

 

(Recommend to read from Arabic script for correct pronunciation)

[In the name of Allah, O Allah, keep us away from the devil, and keep the devil away from that which You may grant us (ie. offspring).]

                                           

About this, the Prophet said: After that, if Allah decrees that they will have a child, the devil will never be able to harm that child. [al-Bukharee][1]

 

FOOTNOTE:[Some Scholars say that children are disobedient to their parents usually because the parents forget/forgot to say the above duaa before having sex.

May Allah SWT keep reminding the married ones during the saga

 

How he should come to her*

 

💞💞💘🌺

It is allowed for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her vagina from any direction he wishes from behind or from the front. About this Allaah revealed the following verse:

Your wives are a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will [Al-Quran: al-Baqarah 2:223]

💻💓💓💓

There are also various hadith on this subject, of which I will give only 2:

1. On the authority of Jaabir who said: The Jews used to say that if a man entered his wife in the vagina but from behind, their child would be cross-eyed! Then Allaah revealed the verse: Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; [al-Baqarah 2:223]. The Prophet said :From the front or the back, as long as it is in the vagina. [Al-Bukharee and Muslim]

 
Kindly pardon some of the choice of words

 

On the authority of IbnAbbaas who said: The Ansaar, who had been polytheists, lived with the Jews, who were people of the book. The former viewed the latter as being superior to them in knowledge, and used to follow their example in many things. The people of the book would only make love to their wives from the side, this being the most modest way for the woman, and the Ansaar had followed their example in that. These people from the Quraish, on the other hand, used to expose their women in an uncomely manner. They took pleasure in them from the front, from the back, or laid out flat. When the Makkans came to al-Madeenah at the time of the Hijrah, one of them married a woman from among the Ansaar, and began doing that with her. She disapproved of it and told him: We used only to be approached from the side, so do that or stay away from me! This dispute became very serious until it reached the ears of the Prophet. So Allaah, revealed the verse: Your wives are as a tilth unto you, so approach your tilth when or how ye will; [al-Baqarah 2:223] (ie. from the front, the back, or laid out flat). What is meant here is the entry which produces children. [AbooDawood, al-Haakim and others: Hasanisnaad and is supported].

 

End of evening lectures.

WasollallaahualaaNabiyyina Muhammad waalaaaalihiwa as-haabihwataabi'eenwa min tabi-ahum bi- ihsaanilaayawmudeen.

💚wasalaamalaikumwarahmatullahwabarakatuh💚

 

Inn shaa Allah

No comments:

Post a Comment