In the ideal Islamic situation, the
husband and wife will most probably be total strangers to each other, having no
kind of personal contact with each other previously due to the strict laws of
hijab and pardah in the Shariah. Coupled with this feeling of strangeness are
the natural constraints of haya and modesty, that form an integral part of
Imaan. Under the particular circumstances it is quite natural that both the
husband and wife will be extremely bashful of each other and under considerable
strain and anxiety.
In order to “break the ice”,
they firstly greet each other with the traditional Islamic greetings of salaam.
Thereafter the husband should gently place his right hand on his bride’s forehead and recite:
‘Allahumma
in’ni as’a’luka
min khai’rihawakhai’ri ma fihawakhairi ma jabalta’ha alai wa a’udhubika
min shar’rihawashar’ri ma fihawasharri ma jabalta’ha alai’
(Recommend to read from
Arabic script for correct pronunciation)
Translation:-”O Allah! I ask you of her goodness, the good
within her and the goodness upon which she was created. I seek Your protection
from her evil, the evil within her and the evil upon which she was created.”
(Bukhari, Abu Dawud,
IbnMaja, Al Hakim, Al Baihaqi and Abu Ya’la)
Thereafter, wudhu and two
rakats of salatul-Hajahmaybe offered as a token of gratitude and thereby
requesting assistance from Allah (Rabbul-Izzat) for a successful and blessed
marraige, pious offspring, etc.
Then they should engage
themselves in some religious talk showing importance to the obedience of Allah’s commands and , through wisdom and tact,
become more free and open in the discussion, trying to discover each other’s temperament. As sexual inclinations vary
with every individual, the bride and the bridegroom will have to display
patience with each other. Sexual union on the first night of marriage is not
the most important thing between the couple. Their first intimate association
gives them an opportunity to know each other more closely, to assess each other’s feelings and attitudes. With some brides
excitement, expectations or fear of intimate union brings about a reluctance in
performing sexual union.
🖊📖One
more point of caution to the husband is never to harbour unnecessary suspicions
against the wife if for some reason it “appeared” that she was not a virgin. This is a sin. It
is forbidden to harbour ill-thoughts about the next Muslim merely on the basis
of such conjectures. And worse still is to make her a target of abuse and
oppression on this ground. This is Zulm (oppression) and a major sin. There are
many reasons a girl could lose her “hymen”, the tissue of virginity – reasons that could be substantiated
medically such as heavy flows during menstruation, illness, falling, jumping
excessively, horse-riding, certain sporting activities, ageing, etc.
🌺 The praying
of husband and wife together
The praying of husband
and wife together
🌺 It is desirable for the
husband and wife to pray 2 rakaat together on their wedding night. This has
been narrated from the earliest generation of Muslims, as in the following 2
narrations:
First: On the authority of Abu Sa’eedMawla Abu Asyad who said: “I got married while I was a slave. I invited
a number of the companions of the Prophet, among them was Ibn Mas’ood, Abu Dharr and Hudhaifa. When the prayer
was called, Abu Dharr began to step forward when the others said to him: ‘No!’
He said: ‘Is it so?’ And they said: ‘Yes.’ Then, I stepped forward and led the prayer
though I was a slave possessed. They taught me, saying: ‘When your wife comes to you, pray 2 rakaat.
Then, ask Allaah for the good of that which has come to you, and seek refuge in
Him from its evil. Then it is up to you and it is up to your wife.’” [IbnAbiShaibah and ‘Abdur-Razzaaq]
On the authority of
Shaqeeq who said: “A man named Abu Hareez came
and said: ‘I have married a young girl,
and I am afraid that she will despise me.’‘Abdullah
ibn Mas’ood said to him: “Verily, closeness is from Allaah, and hatred
is from Shaitaan, who wishes to make despicable that which Allaah has allowed.
So, when your wife comes to you, tell her to pray behind you 2 rakaat.’” In another version of the same story, “‘Abdullah went on to say: ‘And say: ‘O
Allah give Your blessings on me in my wife, and to her in me. O Allaah join us
together as long as You join us in good, and split us apart if You send to us
that which is better.’”
[IbnAbiShaibah and at-Tabaraani and ‘Abdur-Razzaaq:
Saheeh].
Dua to recite for both before
making Love/Sex (everytime* )
👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼
Bismillahi,
Allahummajannibnaa ash-shaitaan, wajannib ash-shaitaanmaarazaqtanna
(Recommend to read from
Arabic script for correct pronunciation)
[In the name of Allah, O
Allah, keep us away from the devil, and keep the devil away from that which You
may grant us (ie. offspring).]
About this, the Prophet
said: “After that, if Allah decrees
that they will have a child, the devil will never be able to harm that child”. [al-Bukharee][1]
FOOTNOTE:[Some Scholars
say that children are disobedient to their parents usually because the parents
forget/forgot to say the above duaa before having sex.
May Allah SWT keep reminding the married ones during the saga
How he should come to
her*
💞💞💘🌺
It is allowed for a
Muslim man to enter his wife in her vagina from any direction he wishes – from behind or from the front. About this
Allaah revealed the following verse:
“Your
wives are a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will” [Al-Quran: al-Baqarah 2:223]
💻💓💓💓
There are also various
hadith on this subject, of which I will give only 2:
1. On the authority of
Jaabir who said: “The Jews used to say that if
a man entered his wife in the vagina but from behind, their child would be
cross-eyed! Then Allaah revealed the verse: “Your
wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. The Prophet said :“From the front or the back, as long as it is
in the vagina”. [Al-Bukharee and Muslim]
Kindly pardon some of the choice of words
On the authority of Ibn‘Abbaas who said: “The
Ansaar, who had been polytheists, lived with the Jews, who were people of the
book. The former viewed the latter as being superior to them in knowledge, and
used to follow their example in many things. The people of the book would only
make love to their wives from the side, this being the most modest way for the
woman, and the Ansaar had followed their example in that. These people from the
Quraish, on the other hand, used to expose their women in an uncomely manner.
They took pleasure in them from the front, from the back, or laid out flat.
When the Makkans came to al-Madeenah at the time of the Hijrah, one of them
married a woman from among the Ansaar, and began doing that with her. She
disapproved of it and told him: “We
used only to be approached from the side, so do that or stay away from me!” This dispute became very serious until it
reached the ears of the Prophet. So Allaah, revealed the verse: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you, so
approach your tilth when or how ye will;”
[al-Baqarah 2:223] (ie. from the front, the back, or laid out flat). What is
meant here is the entry which produces children.”
[AbooDawood, al-Haakim and others: Hasanisnaad and is supported].
End of evening lectures.
WasollallaahualaaNabiyyina
Muhammad waalaaaalihiwa as-haabihwataabi'eenwa min tabi-ahum bi-
ihsaanilaayawmudeen.
💚wasalaamalaikumwarahmatullahwabarakatuh💚
Inn shaa Allah
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