HOW CAN ONE BE A GOOD MUSLIM
In Shaa Allah our topic for tonights
discussion is "How can one be a good muslim"
Being a Muslim is one of the greatest
blessings of Allah Almighty. This blessing is bestowed upon a person in two
forms. Firstly, there are people who are born in Muslim homes and thus they
receive the blessing of religion from their parents. Secondly, there are people
who are born in another religious environment however, in later part of life
they receive guidance and start the search of truth, which ultimately leads
them to Islam.
Regardless of whether a person is a born
Muslim or has accepted Islam in later part of the life, the one thing that they
both need to do with consistency is become a better Muslim and continue on
learning and practicing all the things that make them a better Muslim. Hence,
being a better or stronger Muslim does not have anything to do with being a
Muslim by birth or later acceptance of Islam, rather it is imperative for every
Muslim.
One of the most distinguishing features of
the Muslim is his deep faith in God and his conviction that whatever happens in
the universe and whatever befalls him, only happens through the will and the
decree of God. The Muslim is closely connected to God, constantly remembers
Him, puts his trust in Him and is obedient towards Him.
His faith is pure and clear, uncontaminated
by any stain of ignorance, superstition or illusion. His belief and worship are
based upon the teachings of the Qur’an and the authentic Hadith. He feels that he is in
constant need of the help and support of God. He also has no choice in his life
but to submit to the will of God, worship Him, strive towards the Right Path
and do good deeds. This type of mentality will guide him to be righteous and upright
in all his deeds, both in public and in private.
A Muslim also recognizes the signs of the
unlimited power of God in the universe, and so his faith in God increases. God
says:
“Verily, in the creation
of the heavens and the earth and (in) the difference of night and day are
tokens (of His sovereignty) for men of understanding. They remember God,
standing, sitting, and reclining, and consider the creation of the heavens and
the earth, (and say): Our Lord! You did not create all of this in vain. Far removed
are You from every imperfection! Preserve us from the punishment of the
Hellfire.”
(Quran 3:190-191)
His Attitude Towards His Self; Mind, Body and
Soul
A Muslim pays due attention to his body’s physical need taking
good care of it and promoting its good health and strength. He does this by
being active, not eating excessively. Rather, he eats enough to maintain his
health and energy because he understands that a strong believer is more loved
by God than a weak believer.
The Prophet, may the mercy and blessings of God be
upon him, said: “Indeed
a strong believer is more beloved to God then a weak believer. In the both of
them are good virtues.” God, the Almighty, says:
“Eat and drink; but be not
wasteful, for God does not love the people who waste.” (Quran 7:31)
He also pays attention to his personal
hygiene because the Prophet, placed great emphasis on it. His appearance is
always neat and clean. His oral hygiene is also very clean because the Prophet
encouraged the use of the siwak (tooth-stick from the Arak tree). However, he
does all of this in accordance with the Islamic ideal of moderation; avoiding
the extremes of exaggeration and negligence. God, the Exalted, says:
“Say: Who has forbidden
the adornment of God which He has brought forth for His slaves, and the good
things of His providing? Say: Such, on the Day of Resurrection, will be only
for those who believed during the life of the world. Thus do We detail Our
revelations for people who have knowledge.” (Quran 7:32)
In addition to taking care of his physical
self, a Muslim also takes care of his mental self. This is done by keeping away
from drugs and stimulants. He also does not forget to exercise regularly to
maintain his physical fitness because there is a direct relationship between
the physical health and mental health. He also takes care of his mind by
pursuing beneficial knowledge; religious and secular. God says:
“And say: My Lord!
Increase me in knowledge.” (Quran 20:114)
A Muslim also pays as much attention to his
spiritual development as to his physical and intellectual development. He does
so in a precisely balanced fashion which does not concentrate on one aspect to
the detriment of others. For this reason, the life of a Muslim revolves around
the worship and remembrance of God; five daily prayers, fasting the month of
Ramadan, etc.
His Attitude Towards People
With his parents, the Muslim is an example of
sincere obedience and love. He treats them with kindness and respect, infinite
compassion, utter politeness and deep gratitude. He recognizes their status and
knows his duties towards them through God’s command. God says:
“Worship God and do not
ascribe any partner to Him and (show) kindness to the parents.” (Quran 4:36)
With his wife, the Muslim exemplifies good
and kind treatment, intelligent handling, deep understanding of the nature and
psychology of women, and proper fulfillment of his responsibilities and duties.
With his children, the Muslim is a parent who
understands his great responsibility towards them. He pays attention to anything
that may influence their Islamic development and give them a proper education.
This is so that they may become active and constructive elements in the
society, and be a source of goodness for their parents and community.
With his relatives, the Muslim maintains the
ties of kinship and knows his duties towards them. He understands the high
status given to relatives in Islam, which makes him keep in touch with them, no
matter what the circumstances.
With his neighbors, the Muslim illustrates
good treatment and consideration of others’ feelings and
sensitivities. He puts up with their mistreatment and turns a blind eye to his
neighbor’s
faults while taking care not to commit any such errors himself.
A Muslim’s relationship with his
brothers and friends is the best and purest of relationships because it is
based upon loving for the sake of God. He is loving towards them and not
cold-hearted. He is loyal to them and does not betray them. He is sincere and
does not cheat them. He is tolerant and forgiving. He is also generous and
supplicates for their happiness and well being.
In his social relationships with all people,
the Muslim is well-mannered, civil, noble, and characterized by the attitudes
which Islam encourages. Some of these characteristics are: not being envious of
others, fulfils his promises, modesty, patience, avoiding slanders and
obscenities, not interfering in that which does not concern him, refraining
from gossiping, and avoiding stirring up trouble.
These are the qualities and attitudes that every
Muslim strives to make as part of their character and personality. For this
reason, a society that has residents with such characteristics is one that will
enjoy true happiness and peace.
A good attitude is the characteristic of the
best of the Messengers and is the best action of the righteous. It is – no doubt – half of religion, the
fruit of the efforts of the pious and the practice of the devoted worshipper.
Bad characteristics are lethal poison and lead to shameful consequences.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “I
have only been sent to perfect good characteristics.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad (273) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah
al-Saheehah (45).
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah
be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) was asked about that which will admit most people to
Paradise. He said: “Fear
of Allaah and a good attitude.”
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2004); he said it is
saheehghareeb. It was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi .
Hence Islam paid a great deal of attention to
laying down guidelines for treating diseases of the heart (i.e., spiritual
diseases) and ways of acquiring good characteristics, which is regarded as one
of the most important duties, because no heart will be free of sicknesses. If
the heart is neglected, sicknesses will accumulate. No soul is free of
inclinatons which, if they are given free rein, will lead it to doom in this
world and in the Hereafter.
This kind of medicine requires profound
knowledge of reasons and causes, then it needs hard work to remedy it and set
things straight, in order to reach a successful outcome. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
“Indeed he succeeds who
purifies his ownself”
[al-Shams 91:9]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) used to pray for a good attitude, saying, “O Allaah, You have made
my outward form beautiful so make my attitude good too.” Narrated by IbnHibbaan
in his Saheeh (3/239) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel (75).
Secondly:
If a person knows what his shortcomings are
he can do something to remedy them, but many people are unaware of their faults
and shortcomings. A person may see the speck in his brother’s eye and not see the log
in his own. The person who wants to know what his own faults are may do four
things:
1. He may sit before a Shaykh who has insight
into people’s
faults and knowledge of the subtlety of some problems and learn from him
knowledge, good attitudes and manners.
2. He may ask a sincere friend who has
insight and is religiously committed to keep watch over him and take note of
his actions, so that he can draw attention to whatever he dislikes of his
attitude, actions, and inward and outward faults. This is what the best and
greatest imams of Islam used to do. ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) used to say: “May Allaah have mercy on
a man who shows me my shortcomings.”
3. He can learn about his faults and
shortcomings from the lips of his enemies, because the eye of one who is
resentful will always notice bad things about you. A man may benefit more from
an enemy who wants to cause trouble and mentions his faults than from a friend
who wants to flatter him by praising him and concealing his faults.
4. He can mix with people. Everything that he
sees as blameworthy among people, he should guard against in his own self,
because the believer is the mirror of his fellow believer, and in the faults of
others he can see his own faults. It was said to ‘Eesa (peace be upon him):
“Who taught you?” He said: “No one taught me; I saw
the ignorance of the ignorant as something bad and I avoided it.”
Thirdly;
Attitude reflects how a person thinks and the
way he is inside. Just as, in general, a person’s outward form cannot be
beautiful if only the eyes are beautiful and not the nose, mouth and cheek, and
everything must be beautiful in order for the entire outward form to be
beautiful, so too there are four requirements of inward beauty which must all
be met in order for one’s attitude to be good or beautiful. If all four
requirements are met and balanced then a good attitude is acquired, the
characteristics of which are: strong knowledge, control of anger, control of
desire, and a proper balance between these three aspects.
With regard to strong knowledge, good and
sound knowledge means understanding in such a way that one can see the
difference between telling the truth and telling lies in speech, between truth
and falsehood in beliefs, between beauty and ugliness in actions. If this
strength becomes sound, there will result from it wisdom, and wisdom is the
head of a good attitude.
With regard to strength of anger, its beauty
is that it is used in accordance with what is dictated by wisdom. The same
applies to desire; its beauty and strength should be controlled by wisdom,
meaning under the control of reason and sharee’ah.
With regard to balance, it means proper
control of desires and anger, under the control of wisdom and sharee’ah.
Reason is like a sincere adviser. Justice and
balance is power, and it is like one who does what is dictated by reason. Anger
is to be subjected to control.
The one who acquires and balances these
characteristics is a man of good character in general, and from it stem all
good qualities.
No one achieved perfect balance of these four
characteristics except the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him); people after him vary in how close or distant they are to him in
character. Everyone who is close to him in these characteristics is close to
Allaah, to the extent that he is close to the Messenger of Allaah.
Fourthly:
This balance may be achieved in two ways:
1 – By the blessing of Allaah, as part of one's
inherent nature
2 – By acquiring these characteristics through effort
and training, i.e., pushing oneself to do the actions dictated by the desired
characteristic.
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: “Knowledge is acquired by seeking it, and patience
is acquiring by striving to be patient. The one who strives to attain good will
be given it, and the one who strives to protect himself from evil will be
protected. Narrated by al-Khateeb and others from the hadeeth of Abu’l-Darda’; classed as hasan by
al-Albaani.
If a person wants to attain the
characteristic of generosity, the way to attain that is by pushing himself to
do the actions of one who is generous, which is giving away wealth. So he keeps
pushing himself and persisting in that, striving against his own inclinations,
until that becomes second nature and it becomes easy for him, thus he becomes
generous.
Similarly, if a person wants to attain the
characteristic of humility, when he is inclined to be arrogant, the way he does
it is by persisting in doing the actions of the humble for a long time,
striving and pushing himself until that becomes one of his characteristics, and
it becomes second nature to him and easy for him.
All praiseworthy characteristics that are
prescribed in Islam may be acquired in this way. Religious characteristics will
never become entrenched in the soul unless the soul gets accustomed to doing
all good habits, unless it gives up all bad habits, and unless it persists in
doing good deeds like one who loves good deeds and enjoys doing them, and hates
bad deeds and is pained by them.
This may be explained by means of examples:
This may be explained by means of examples:
The one who wants to become proficient in
writing, so that this becomes one of his characteristics and writing
beautifully becomes second nature to him, has no other way but to hold in his
hand that which the proficient writer holds, and persist for a long time,
trying to imitate beautiful hand writing, and keep on doing so until it becomes
well established in him, then finally beautiful writing will become second
nature to him.
Similarly, if a person wants to become a
faqeeh, he has no choice but to do what the fuqaha’ do, which is to keep
studying issues of fiqh until his heart develops a love of the subject.
And if a person wants to become generous and
refrain from asking people, and become patient and humble, he has to keep on
doing the actions of those people until they become second nature to him. He
should not despair of attaining those characteristics if he fails to study for
one night, for he will not be able to attain it with one night’s study. Perfecting the
soul and adorning it with good deeds will not be attained by worshipping for
one day, and he will not be deprived of it if he sins for one day. But slacking
off for one day may lead to another day, then slowly one becomes accustomed to
laziness.
Fifthly:
The likeness of the soul and the way to treat
it to rid it of bad characteristics and make it attain good characteristics is
that of the body, when treating it to rid it of disease and bring it good
health.
Although the humours are usually in balance,
the stomach may become sick due to food, drink or circumstances. Similarly,
everyone is born with a balanced nature, but his parents make him a Jew,
Christian or Magian, i.e., by training and teaching one acquires bad
characteristics.
Just as the body is not created perfect in
the first place, rather it is made perfect by rearing and food, similarly the
soul is also created imperfect but with the potential to become perfect, and it
can only be perfected by means of education, discipline and nourishment with
knowledge. If the body is sound, the doctor’s role is to show one the
way to maintain good health; if it is sick, then the doctor’s job is to restore
health. The same applies to the soul; if it is pure and sound then one should
strive to preserve it and bring it more strength and acquire more good
characteristics; if it is imperfect then one should strive to perfect it and
purify it.
Sickness that causes imbalance in the body
can only be treated by its opposite, so if it is caused by cold it is treated
with heat and vice versa. Similarly, bad characteristics, which are diseases of
the heart, are treated by applying the opposite. So the remedy for the disease
of ignorance is seeking knowledge, and the remedy for the disease of
miserliness is pushing oneself to be generous, and the remedy for the disease
of arrogance is pushing oneself to be humble, and the remedy for the sickness
of eating too much is imposing self-restraint.
Just as it is essential to put up with the
bitterness of the remedy and show patience in refraining from what one desires
when treating physical sickness, so too it is essential to put up with the
bitterness of striving and being patient when treating diseases of the heart;
rather it is more important, because one gets rid of physical sickness when one
dies, but the sicknesses of the heart –Allaah forbid – may persist after death
and continue forever and ever.
These examples show you the way to treat
diseases of the heart, and demonstrate that the holistic way is to treat them
with the opposite of whatever one is inclined towards and likes. Allah has
summed up all of that in His Holy Book, when He said (interpretation of the
meaning):
“But as for him who feared
standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires and
lusts.
41. Verily, Paradise will be his abode”
[al-Naazi’aat 79:40-41]
Finally:
What matters with regard to striving is
fulfilling what one resolves to do. If a person resolves to give up a desire,
then he must show patience and persist, because if he gets used to giving up
what he resolved to do, that will lead to corruption. If it so happens that he
falls short of what he resolved to do, then he must impose some punishment on
himself because of that, because if he does not scare himself with that
punishment, his evil inclinations will overwhelm him and he will be attracted to
indulging in desires, and all his efforts will be spoiled.
Summarized and adapted from Ihya’‘Uloom al-Deen by
al-Ghazaali (3/62-98).
And Allaah knows best.
In Shaa Allah this information will be d
concluding partt of our discussion tonight
These are some tips that can help you become
a good muslim.You might not be able to achieve all of these tips but it’s good for you to try.
You won’t
regret a thing, trust it! And don’t worry if it takes you some time to carry them
out. You’ll
be able to accomplish new ones as time passes in’sha’Allah .
1. Have the will to change
Allah won’t change you unless you
decide to change. That’s why you need to be willing to change and actually
put some thought and effort into the idea because when there’s a will there’s a way in’sha’Allah .
2. Stop making excuses
You can’t expect to change if you
keep making excuses for anything that goes wrong with you, because you won’t see anything that needs
to be changed with you that way. You should take accountability for your
actions and take responsibility for your decisions. You shouldn’t blame anyone or
anything for your mistakes. Instead, try to learn from your mistakes, which in
turn will help you be a better person.
3. Stop being angry
If you let yourself be angry, your anger will
modify your decision-making ability and you’ll start making decisions
that aren’t
very rational. Anger is also known for damaging relationships and negatively
affects one’s
health. So, if you let it overtake you, it’ll prevent you from
improving yourself. It might even get into trouble. I know controlling anger is
a difficult task, but if you try your best to do so you will benefit from great
rewards.
4. Be more self-aware
In order to become a better person, you
should learn to notice yourself and know how you behave in different
situations. Then you’ll
know when to improve yourself if you do something improperly, and continue to
do what you’re
doing right. This point is very important because you can’t be a better person if
you don’t
know what you should improve of yourself in the first place.
5. Love yourself
When you love yourself, you’ll want what’s best for it. Thus, you’ll look for whatever can
make it comfortable and content. Learn to accept yourself for who you are and
only then will you be able to enhance it and feel better. Tell yourself that
you’re kind and
compassionate, that you’re worthy and important, anything that would make
you feel loved and accepted by yourself. You should start by loving yourself
because you won’t
be able to love other people if you don’t love yourself first.
6. Set goals for yourself
Every person should have a certain aim in
life. After all, we were brought into this life for a reason; build this world
and work for the hereafter. For that reason, you should set goals and objectives
for yourself to conquer. Write them down in a note on your phone or on a
journal you keep at hand. Every time you accomplish a goal, you’ll objectively learn more
about yourself and figure out ways of improvement
in’sha’Allah .
7. Be thankful and appreciative
Thank Allah for the countless blessings that
He showers upon you each and every day, and appreciate what you have instead of
obsessing over what you wish you had. Also thank people for whatever good they
do to you and appreciate their thought and effort.
8. Be a role model
Being a role model to someone will encourage
you to constantly strive for the better because you wouldn’t want to disappoint
whoever is looking up to you. You will always find ways to improve yourself and
be more careful how you behave because you’ll always want to set a
good example to others. Just like when parents want to be role models to their
children, they’ll
try their best to make decisions and take actions that their children will
respect.
9. Practice self-control
You should be able to balance between your
work life and your life outside of work. This balance is necessary so that you
don’t get bored if you only
focus on work or if you just sit down and enjoy your pleasures. If you get
bored, you won’t
be satisfied, and hence, you won’t feel good about yourself. Remember, everything
has its own time.
10. Forgive; When someone hurts you, try to
forgive them. I know that might be hard but just try. If you don’t forgive them for
whatebyver they did and hold that against them for the rest of your life, you’ll just be hurting
yourself more because it’s unhealthy to hold a grudge. That would only
affect your body and mind negatively.
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