PRE-MARITAL RELATIONSHIP

PRE-MARITAL RELATIONSHIP

I would like to , first of all, commend the efforts of the organisers and moderators here. They never give up. Despite my    inability to honor their countless invitations, and my disrupting if their planned schedules , they never gave up on me. 😄😄😄

I would therefore cease this opportunity to render an unqualified apology to the entirety of this group, it is my hope and prayer that  we would always find time to make it when we are called upon, inspite of our rather tight schedules.

Alhamdulillah .

As we had before, today's is not so far fetched from our last topic ... As they both form part of a long chain of interesting and elaborate topics. We therefore pray , that Allah makes it easy for us to digest the topic ; pre-marital relationship, to the best of our knowledge and ability, that He eases the comprehension on the part of audience and that He protect and guard us against standing by that which we have no knowledge of. Aameen

 PRE-MARITAL RELATIONSHIP

By my definition, refers to the short-term lawful engagement of a would-be-couple which is necessitated by the desire to attain great knowledge of one's would-be spouse.

That is, the relationship is necessary for the couple to identify in their partners that which would motivate them into the marriage that is set to come shortly after, and with full knowledge of their respective families

Setting the records straight, let's take note of the following;

1. Any relationship which falls short of the underpinning factors like ;

-full knowledge of the 2 families

-informal approach by the man to the would-be bride's guardian

 Is simply an indecent boy friend-girl friend relationship; and as such cannot be called pre-marital relationship.

2. Very long term relationship of "seemingly" would-be couple is simply , the same as the courtship* practiced by the non-believers after a ceremony, they call engagement. And we seek refuge in Allah from imitating the kuffaar

3.Any other relationship between a male and female , who are non-mahrams of each other, is simply child's play or in a more befitting phrase "waasanyaara" in Hausa

So before anything, I propose a hypothetical relationship, where the man has made an attempt to ask the lady's hand in marriage from her family, ... This is normally termed as "ankaikwarya" "Yika" "kokooko" "knocking" or "the Calabash has been sent and has been accepted"

That which is permissible during pre-marital relationship

1. The husband is permitted to look at the perspective wife

2. To engage in surface chats under the cognizance of the woman's mahram or guardian. ; That's ..all Facebook and WhatsApp chats as Wells as should be monitored keenly

3. For modern times, nice modest pictures could be shared but ... Should remain between the two and the woman's mahram.

4. Exchange of modest gifts with full knowledge of parents.

Not allowed

1. To be in seclusion with the perspective wife, ...that would mean , you are guilty of khulwa ( the sin of seclusion with a strange woman)

2. To see beyond what is allowed  like going beyond , the face , hands and feet

3. To touch her. ( o touching baby) 😂😂😂

4. Among others

For the read on what is permissible and not ... Let's visit this link ...👇👇

https://islamqa.info/en/2572

Now ... The general recommendations for couples in a pre-marital stage in the light of social media and other external factors

1. The marriage process should be expedite to avoid tricks of Shaytaan

 In also in agreement of the Prophetic saying that .. "3 things must not be delayed.....

And a marriage of a girl when a match is found"

2. Stick strictly to the rules of what permissible and  not permissible

We should remember that we are still not married and that all the "original" rules apply

3.every chat and call as well as exchange of pictures and gifts be monitored by guardians

4. A guy should make close friends know about his plans 4 the said lady ... Inorder to avoid "kwakwa"

Or overtaking

For the ...prophet discouraged us to make counter advancement on another brother's proposal

5. Ladies should remain focus to the guy in question and not engage other guys, as the heart is highly unstable.... This will prevent unecessary disappointments and "curses"

6. It is better to have the courage to back down ur decision, if you see something you can't deal with in ur partner, rather than get married to someone u don't like

7. both guys and ladies should be open and true to one another at this stage ....

As concealing anything is tantamount to cheating and deception providing valid grounds for divorce

To avoid information overload, we stop here ..and ask that Allah increases us in beneficial Knowledge

Wherever we've erred, may he forgive.

And wherever we've made the right statements, may He reward